Why does time speed by so fast when you're depressed and struggling to find a purpose in life again? I don't even know what happened but a week has passed since I started my new blog and two weeks since I quit my job at Yelp.
Looking back, I went through a lot in life these last few years and I think that's why each time I fall down, it's harder to get back up. I finished Course 1 (out of 7) of my UX Design certification on Coursera, and 80% completed with Course 2. The program estimated 6-7 months but because I have no job, I just spent half my day learning while the other half is spent applying for jobs. Sadly, no luck with any applications so far. Either the recession period is happening or I just can't find something I'm passionate enough to kill time with. I'm so scared of forcing myself into a position I don't like and ending up leaving after a short time again.
I also decided to focus on writing more food reviews on Yelp and Google, so I can get Yelp Elite and Master Reviewer badges on my profile. After writing 30+ reviews in 3 days, I reached Yelp Elite status for 2022, woohoo! I have to write at least 20 more reviews on Google Maps to get the Master Reviewer status so that's what I do in my free time. Asides from that, I've been into grocery shopping, cooking with my sister, and watching keyboard videos. It sucks watching tech videos because I promised Alan that I wouldn't get into my addiction again since I'm currently jobless, aka window shopping. We also might not go on our National Park trip this year either because I really need to pay off my credit card debt.
As I write my reviews for local businesses, I thought back to this Cajun restaurant that I had to call multiple times despite the owner being the only person there. I understand sales can be stressful, and I need to be pushy to make my quota, but she spent 6 mins talking to me about how she can't talk because she is the only one working. It pains me having to call her again back-to-back because that's what my job requires me to do— and the reason why I quit. I was crying more than I did back at Pace and is the only lab analyst in the department. I don't want to rush things and just find a job like I did last year. What I'm doing now is focusing my time on studying UX, playing games, and spending quality time with my loved ones. Alan's birthday was this past weekend, so we spent the weekend with his mom since she came down to visit. It was fun bonding and eating home-cooked meals since Alan limited my eating out at this time.
I also spent last Friday at the dentist and optometrist since it was the last day for my insurance. Ya girl is insurance-less now, so please pray that I don't get injured. Last year I paid $300 monthly for short-term health care, and that took a lot of money. I couldn't cancel it because I wasn't sure when I'll find a job, so I paid for 5 months despite only being jobless for one month. I didn't want to stress out again this year so I just left it alone and got all the help I needed before. I got a new pair of glasses, and also went to the dentist for my teeth cleaning— both of which I neglected since October 2020. I'm happy that I got those taken care of, but I'm still praying to Buddha every day to help me stay safe and discover my life purpose. I have never had a passion since I was young, and I don't know what I enjoy doing, besides eating tbh. I just live through life soullessly and hope that I can pass by easily, but it turns out that life doesn't go your way at all. Wish me luck!
